Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I cannot find my penis.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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