There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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