I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
