when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
