I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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