I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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