Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
