is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
