Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize