Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Everything about him screamed your future.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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