anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
