Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
