If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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