I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
