Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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