it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
