i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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