You made me cry and you don't even care
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
