wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
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He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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