I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize