Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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