if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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