I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
