Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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