He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
