Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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