Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
