Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
