His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
