The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
