so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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