with your own penis?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
