yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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