history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
