I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
