im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I could fuck to npr.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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