there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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