I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
