my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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