handjob tips. give me some.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
