Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
