PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
