Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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