I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.