...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
