i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.