So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
