Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
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I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
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Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.