There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Found your dick twin last night
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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