he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
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You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
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Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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