return my video game
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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