you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
