My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
