I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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