He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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