out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
