I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had me at cake vodka
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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