i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
