dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
