That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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