my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I touched a dick in church today
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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