he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
