Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
