Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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