Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
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Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
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Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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