margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She told me I should be a condom model.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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