i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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